isabella rose xavier
female
phychosis
the same tricks that once fooled me, wont get you anywhere
Posts: 59
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Post by isabella rose xavier on Sept 8, 2010 15:49:09 GMT -5
i CAN feel the PRESSURE !its GETTING closer NOW !
• • • • • • • • • • • • • It was a just another day in the life of Isabella and like every other day she found herself caged like some sort of animal in this god forsaken building that deserved to be shut down. Isabella was sitting in the corner of the room on a chair she had dragged from one of the tables where a few patients sat. She never really socialized people either saner than her or crazier than her laughed when she began talking to what they thought was thin air. Curled up in almost a ball like fashion she had a pad of paper sitting on her knees and was drawing idly on it. She always found drawing comforting and calming.
It was nice out and she would be on the grounds that was if the Gardens around it weren't so Depressing there was nothing pretty to draw outside. It was just as well inside but at least she could let her imagination wander - even if that could also be done outside, but she preferred to be inside and depressed by the surroundings she was in rather than be outside and be depressed by looking at something that should be pretty and colorful. She had thought on multiple occasions if she could possibly fix the dead flowers but every time she though about it she quickly doused the thought of it figuring the so called doctors and other quacks that worked the asylum wouldn't let her. Isabella kept looking up from her pad of paper and letting her eyes wander about the room as she muttered incoherently under her breath to the voices she kept hearing.
The lines on the paper were taking shape and beginning to really look like something. It was a drawing of a woman in some old fashion gown with a baby in her arms. she hadn't seen that spirit today but she had seen it the night before in her room. as she sat there finishing the drawing she began humming a song. The pencil moved across the sheet of paper as the so called medical personnel in the room watched her as if expecting her to stab herself with the pencil. It had crossed her mind but at the moment the pencil wouldn't do much damage and she was oddly content. She would most likely stay that way as long as someone didn't interrupt her by getting in her light or try to see what she was drawing.
Her drawings were private yet somehow some of them always manage to disappear or be taken by the psychiatrists or doctors for "evaluation". But she was quite determined to keep this one for herself. she liked this drawing. it would be nicer once she got it colored. maybe scrapbook worthy as it couldn't be frame worthy as nothing was allowed to be hung on the walls of patients rooms. Her hazel eyes scanned the page every once in awhile as her hand would stop. this went on as well as erasing and adjusting before she finally stopped and began to just inspect the drawing for any flaws. the only thing in her life that was flawless - her drawings. The mindless chatter of other patients flowed through the room and she wished there was something besides chatter that made no sense filling her ears.
Not only in her ears but in her head. Voices according to the doctors only she could here. Looking up she spotted a figure from the corner of her eyes,
"Quit breathing down my neck. I'm trying to focus."
She said a bit harshly the person in question got up and moved but as she did disappeared.
"Stupid Ghost."
She muttered there was always one around to bother her. They just couldn't leave her alone to her own devices.
• • • • • • • • • • • • •
wordCOUNT:: 640 currentMOOD:: bored currentSONG:: fixed at zero - versaemerge characterOUTFIT:: click here taggedFOR:: open writersCOMMENTS:: first official post - yay me!
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Post by baylee thomas shepherd on Sept 16, 2010 15:47:05 GMT -5
YOU CAN FEEL THE POUNDING WRAPPED AROUND YOUR CHESTBAYLEETHOMASSHEPHERD [/size] NOTHING'S TOO EXCESSIVE WHEN YOU'VE GOT NOTHING LEFT[/center] It have been like three weeks now since Baylee have had company with anyone else. In his room as he was told to stay in there and wait for permission to leave the room. His cuts were healing lovely and the stitches have finally been taken out and would now fade if he leave them alone too heal. His eyes was bright blue again as he looked out of the window. He noticed some of the plants he have planted when he have been year at first, have now grown. This made him really happy and a small smile appeared on his face, which show how happy he is coming to show. His hair was lot shiner and was getting a little long for his taste, maybe it time for a hair cut now he thought and looked more at the beautiful vegetables which were growing strongly outside. Then finally he heard a voice from a nurse. Mr Shepherd you can go outside now. Without a second thought he grabbed his handsome black jacket again and headed for the main doors, to go to tend too his vegetables.
While he was tending too his lovely crop like plants. He couldn't believe that something so beautiful could grow from a tiny seed. Baylee could watch these plants all day if he could. Outside was the best place for him, people were no longer the problem for him and he can have some piece and quiet. Taken out a piece of paper from his pocket was the photo of his family, he missed them so much. He wished that he knew why he was left alone at fifteen, what did he do wrong? Getting bored from out of the garden now, he walked back indoors, the scar on his face was still healing from the fact he cut it three days ago.
The hallways were lot different from his previous asylums, but they were all the same too him. Just like too hurt you and rip your heart out and make you eat it kind of thing. Seeing a nurse coming by he pushed into her on purpose and he laughed while he done it. Finally he reached the area he wanted too go, the lounge. He had no reason why, it's just that he was bored out of his mind. Soons he got into the room, he noticed a patient was here and he smirked evilly this shall be fun he then smacked his lips and sat down on a padded chair, watching her closely. She wasn't his usual type too try and date with for one thing. But he could simply have a go or not.
Reaching in his pocket he pulled out a knife which he was excellent with smuggling in. Playing with the pen knife which was his sixth one in his pocket. He loved cutting himself, just too see and feel the blood run down his arm. Looking at the girl again, smiling more playing with the knife still, keeping an eye out for any of the staff which might come and take it off him. He didn't fancy having someone too hold him down again and sedated him, he hated that the most. Nothing can settle him down anymore, he gotten so used too the sedatives the normal 10cc amount was way too weak for him now. He needed a larger dose or stronger sedative to knock him out or calm him down.
Opening his mouth he began too talk too the girl patient. Hello there beautiful he spoke in a strong American mixed welsh accent. How is the beautiful lady today then? He asked her while his ocean blue eyes began too look at her chest and body, as he was really checking her out. Thinking he would like to do her one day or not, while he waited for her answer.
[/font] [/blockquote][/blockquote] WE'RE ALL HERE CAUSE WE LOST CONTROL WE'RE ALL HERE CAUSE WELOSTCONTROL [/size] WE'RE ALL HERE CAUSE WE LOST CONTROL WE'RE ALL HERE CAUSE[/center] •tags• Isabella •status• Complete •comments• crazy Baylee is here •word count• Six Five One •lyrics• DIE TONIGHT, LIVE FOREVER by InnerPartySystem •credit• AMANDA THE PIRATE * @ CAUTION !
[/font] [/blockquote][/blockquote][/blockquote]
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isabella rose xavier
female
phychosis
the same tricks that once fooled me, wont get you anywhere
Posts: 59
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Post by isabella rose xavier on Sept 16, 2010 17:04:27 GMT -5
i CAN feel the PRESSURE !its GETTING closer NOW !
• • • • • • • • • • • • • Isabella had began doing a few more adjustments to the drawing. Hearing someone enter the lounge and sit down next to her she looked from the corner of her eyes at the male that was in the chair next to her. She let her feet tap on the ground lightly. The soles of her combat boots making barely any noise. Feeling his eyes on her she brushed her red hair from curtaining her face as she stopped drawing letting the pencil rest on the pad of paper that rested on her skirted lap. With scarred forearms nearly covering the drawing.
Looking at him with hazel eyes that were framed with dark eyeliner and red/pink eyeshadow she watched his eyes and raised an eyebrow. Tapping fingers on her lap she spoke with a snort of laughter,
"I'm in a nuthouse - how do you think I'm doing?"
Going back to her drawing after scratching the back of her head she began adding more details to the drawing and darkening some of the lines. She really needed a sharper pencil - Then again she went at a single drawing for a good while before becoming satisfied with it - so no pencil stayed sharp for long when it came into her grasp. Isabella once again began looking at the drawing before deciding it was good and shoved the pencil in the spiral of her drawing pad before she let her hazel eyes come back to rest on the male who took to talking to her.
Most avoided her because she "talked to herself" yet he wasn't so she figured he was new around. Probably had no idea what hell hole he had been tossed into. Looking at the pen knife in his hand she smirked,
"Kinda stupid of you to bring that out. Won't be long before some psycho around he decides to claim it as there own or the staff get a hold of it. It'll be gone in a blink of an eye."
She spoke, knowing all to well how fast things could be confiscated from you by staff - then again after the second or third time of having it happen you learn how to get around the staff fairly easy and how to acquire such things if you were like her. Thirsting for the pain of wrist slitting or in her case sometimes suicide. Leaning her scarred arms on the arm rest of the chair she sat in she rolled her eyes at his obviously wandering eyes, Sometimes people like that got on her nerves - Then again most people around here weren't normal but men would be men and boys would be boys.
"Also my face is up here, not down there. Mister I have Wandering Eyes."
• • • • • • • • • • • • •
wordCOUNT:: 461 currentMOOD:: bored currentSONG:: missing - evanescence characterOUTFIT:: click here taggedFOR:: baylee, open writersCOMMENTS:: n.a
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Post by baylee thomas shepherd on Sept 18, 2010 9:06:10 GMT -5
YOU CAN FEEL THE POUNDING WRAPPED AROUND YOUR CHESTBAYLEETHOMASSHEPHERD [/size] NOTHING'S TOO EXCESSIVE WHEN YOU'VE GOT NOTHING LEFT[/center] Seeing that girl look at him, he was getting more pissed off now and just wished she would just stop treating him like kind of monster. He wasn't going to hurt her, as he wasn't like that. He only attack staff people like doctor, orderlies and nurses. Other patients were ok as long they wouldn't attack him first. Baylee also wouldn't dream of hitting a woman, as it was a cowardly away out and he was no freaking coward or a wife beater. Right now he was having problems with himself right now. Confused on who and what he was and is. Look I am not going too hurt you. I just want my hands to be free so I am able to defend myself if needed. Is that good enough for you? He asked her a little really pissed off now.
He didn't want to fight anymore and then Darwin came again beside him. How is my little boy kisser today? You are a joke Baylee. What are you girl? Baylee clenched his fist and began to grab Darwin by the throat (though Isabella wouldn't be able to see this and he was fighting nothing) Just shut the fuck up you prick, you supposed to help me and you stayed quiet. Just go away and leave me alone! He yelled at him, while Darwin laughed like mad you are so stupid Baylee, I am part of you, you can't destroy me without destroying yourself first Baylee leaned back on the wall and breathed in and out, trying to calm down. He had to remember what his doctor Matt have said to him. Ironge him and he would eventually disappear so Baylee looked at Isabella again sorry about that, crazy voice in my head make me do stuff, I wouldn't hurt you though he smiled again.
He was playing with the pen knife again, there was no staff around. His blue eyes kept on scanning around, just incase any would come and try and take the knife off him. Why should I listen too her anyway. He thought and smirked. Placing the blade against his mouth and using his tongue and licked the metal. He was called psycho for a reason and he looked at her some more. You don’t know me very well don’t you? I couldn’t give shit on what the staff would do. I have more in my room, so they will never take them off me he spoke icy which was common for him.
Still checking her out as she was kind of feisty and he loved it very much. I can look where ever I want! Your just an object which I can look at the WAY I want too. His clothes were beginning too go very lose on him now as his bodyweight was dropping more and more, due too fact he wasn’t eating. He brushed against her now. Anyway I know how much the girls love the boys checking them out. It turns them on even. He giggled more and made kissing sounds now and kept looking at her and then into her hazel eyes.
[/font] [/blockquote][/blockquote] WE'RE ALL HERE CAUSE WE LOST CONTROL WE'RE ALL HERE CAUSE WELOSTCONTROL [/size] WE'RE ALL HERE CAUSE WE LOST CONTROL WE'RE ALL HERE CAUSE[/center] •tags• Isabella •status• Complete •comments• Baylee is going nuts •word count• five two two •lyrics• DIE TONIGHT, LIVE FOREVER by InnerPartySystem •credit• AMANDA THE PIRATE * @ CAUTION !
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isabella rose xavier
female
phychosis
the same tricks that once fooled me, wont get you anywhere
Posts: 59
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Post by isabella rose xavier on Sept 18, 2010 14:26:44 GMT -5
i CAN feel the PRESSURE !its GETTING closer NOW !
• • • • • • • • • • • • • Isabella tucked her hair behind her ears and cocked her head to the side slightly as he went for thin air and began talking. He was like her apparently. Whether or not his little "companion" was a spirit or not she didn't know. When he turned back to her speaking again she spoke up with no expression on her face.
"Even if you were going to hurt me, it wouldn't bother me I like pain...."
She smirked and begin questioning him as she pulled her feet into the chair with her and watched him with hazel eyes,
"Voice in your ear hissing away, Ghost on your shoulder taunting your actions? Am I right?"
Cracking her knuckles idly she set her sketchbook to the side on a table in the corner next to her she watched him lick the pen knife and had to refrain from rolling her eyes at him while tapping her fingers on her knee.
"I am not some object you can stare at and treat as you please. I am a human being. More than I can say for you."
Isabella snapped as she narrowed her eyes at him. She hated being treated like a piece of garbage blowing in the wind. It wasn't on her top list of dislikes but it was still right up there with oxygen none the less. Glaring at him she refrained from planting her fist in the center of his face she nearly snapped when he leaned closer to her.
At his giggle she looked at him with a raised eyebrow and spoke as she mentally shooed away the voice in her head telling her not just sit there and put the boy in his place.
"I may be a girl who is by all means straight but having someone watch me like I am a parading juicy steak is not at all a turn on. No matter what you believe."
The venom in her voice was clear and she gave a eye roll as she looked straight ahead no longer looking at the blond haired blue eyed guy next to her. She fiddled with the I.D. bracelet around her wrist and began singing quietly under her breath.
The two had gotten off on the wrong foot then again there were many of both patients and staff that did get off on the wrong foot with her on first meeting and it was rare for her to give second chances to the patients. near impossible for her to give a second chance to a staff.
"Although if you quit thinking with whats between your legs and quit being in my opinion a perv. I may give you my name and a chance to start over and try to be civil to each other."
She looked at him with her hazel eyes sparking with a bit of every emotion on the grape vine she twirled her hair around her fingers as she went back to singing quietly.
• • • • • • • • • • • • •
wordCOUNT:: 496 currentMOOD:: bored currentSONG:: mordreds lullaby - heather dale characterOUTFIT:: click here taggedFOR:: baylee, open writersCOMMENTS:: obviously - maybe she won't slap him
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Post by baylee thomas shepherd on Sept 18, 2010 19:33:32 GMT -5
BAYLEETHOMASSHEPHERD He was watching her more now. He was playing the waiting game. Thinking he would hurt her and how. He was thinking maybe sexual like all people have done too him first. Or he could stab her and leave her drown/choke to death in her own blood. These were getting exticting now. Rubbing his hands together and he looked more. His eyes were filled with a evil rage and she just given a excuse too hurt her now well name what kind of pain do you want? Me raping you, beaten and pull onto your skins or my little friend here too play with you insides. Come on tell me and I would do it. I love creating pain on others, when they really need it and deserved it so much he hissed towards her, he would hurt her if she wanted him too. He would be really happy too make her feel the enjoyment in pain, if she wanted it so badly.
When he finally managed too get rid Darwin he looked at her some more. He badly wanted too cut into his arm now, feeling the blood pour down his arm and the slice of flesh was hanging loosely like a piece of thread. He wouldn't allow anyone too stitch him up etc. She then spoke too him again. Baylee couldn't believe she wanted too know about his condition. Her of all people and he scoffs a little. Smacking his lips together he began too speak again. For you information I have schizophrenia. I have another part of someone I keep close by me all the time. He isn't a ghost he is living being and in fact he would rip your heart out and make you eat it. He stared at her evilly some more. This wasn't like Baylee at all, he was normally nice too females, but for some reason he was being a right prick towards her. Maybe she was just one of those girls he didn't like, he simple don't know. In a way he wasn't into girls as much now as he was starting too get attracted to boys lately. Maybe this was the reason he was angry all the time. Who knows expect him.
I am not some object you can stare at and treat as you please. I am a human being. More than I can say for you Her words weren't that really chilling and in fact he really enjoy it. Smelling the knife again which was being held into his hand. Slowly his blue eyes caught the sign of a nurse and Baylee quickly hidden the knife in his pocket again. You squeal on me and that's the last thing you would do! He growled and threaten her. Soon enough the nurse left and he relax some more. Starching the back of his neck again, he was finally got the words at her again too me all females are objects. They are sluts and whores! Some of them are even heart breakers, liars and cheating bunch of bitches. He then laughed a little as he spoke towards her again you wished you are human being honey, if you were a lady then what are doing here? He mocked her deeply, hoping she would bite as he loved it when girls fight back.
I may be a girl who is by all means straight but having someone watch me like I am a parading juicy steak is not at all a turn on. No matter what you believe, her tone was lot more angry now and he was going too play it against her. If he was lucky she would get caught by the staff, get sedated and locked in the isolation room. Oh now that would be prefect and he was going too act on it. I am not attracted too you anyway doll face. You think all guys love you, what do you think you are? A man catcher or something? You wish! His tone was icy and cold. There was like he had no heart or feelings at all.
Although if you quit thinking with whats between your legs and quit being in my opinion a perv. I may give you my name and a chance to start over and try to be civil to each other he laughed deeply. You think I want too get too know you?! You got to be fucking kidding me! He yelled out towards her. I wouldn't want too know you anyway! You are just a whore like all girls are! Also I know you are enjoying the flirting and the attention. Come on admitted it he knocked in her more and kissed her head, before standing up, before he got a smack or anything. What are you going too do about now bitch face?! He asked and smirked and waited too see what she would do now. Hoping for more angry and bitchiness.
[/font][/size][/color] *WORDCOUNT* ::: eight.three.four *TAGGED* ::: isabella *NOTES* ::: sorry but he doesn't trust her yet *STATUS* ::: complete
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isabella rose xavier
female
phychosis
the same tricks that once fooled me, wont get you anywhere
Posts: 59
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Post by isabella rose xavier on Sept 18, 2010 20:55:54 GMT -5
i CAN feel the PRESSURE !its GETTING closer NOW !
• • • • • • • • • • • • • Isabella was fuming now - the smoldering flames of being pissed off clear in her eyes. Normally the anger she was currently harnessing was reserved for the staff of the hell hole they were currently residing in, Gritting her teeth she responded, her head snapping around with glaring eyes focused on him,
"Lay one hand on me and I will rip your arm off and beat you with it. Your threat of harm does not scare me but I will not hesitate to acquaint my fist with your face."
She crossed her arms and sighed - Obviously he had misunderstood her cause she didn't recall asking to know his condition, but then again to people psychotic was psychotic. Shrugging internally she huffed at another empty threat.
"More empty threats....What makes you think I'd squeal on you? I should I have a feeling you'd squeal on me if I was sitting here holding a damn pen knife. and for your kind information I am none of the above. Not a squealer, a whore, a slut, liar or a cheater. I have my bitchy moments yes but you've pushed my buttons and normally the side of me your getting is reserved for the staff here."
With a slight growl she was only a few short hairs away from beating his brains in and walking away leaving him to bleed. Arms crossed nails digging into her arms she spoke as calmly as possible but was now very close to failing.
"I see dead people and hear voices and cut myself and have tried to kill myself many times. My own father threw me here cause he couldn't handle me. You are very close to becoming a dead person, god forbid if I see you after I rip your damn head off."
Isabella snapped now fuming not holding back any of her anger. Knuckles white to keep from hitting him, cause knowing her luck she knew if she hit him a staff would choose that time to walk in. She was not in the mood to spend her time in isolation,
"Well if you didn't start off with eye fucking me I may not be so bitchy to you right now and we may have been able to be friends. Ever think of that?"
She asked pointedly as she looked at him arms crossed an a matter of fact look on her face, while eyes still blazed with the pent up anger she was holding back. She'd have to hit something sooner or later. Or go lock herself in a random empty room and cut herself.
• • • • • • • • • • • • •
wordCOUNT:: 433 currentMOOD:: bored currentSONG:: mordreds lullaby - heather dale characterOUTFIT:: click here taggedFOR:: baylee, open writersCOMMENTS:: no problem - confrontations are always fun - maybe she will not strangle him lol
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Post by baylee thomas shepherd on Sept 19, 2010 16:00:29 GMT -5
BAYLEETHOMASSHEPHERD Baylee was still angry with the female in front of her. He was about stab her, he could have killed her and even rape her if she wasn't careful. He was totally convenience he was going too end up like his abusive father who hit him his mother and even raped her in front of him. A lot of things have happened too Baylee who no one knows about. Not even the doctors as he haven't told them anything. Slowly the angar have left his body and he walked away from Isabella and he looked out of the window which was very small. Why am I going all nasty towards people he cried a little and hid it. Slowly he breathed in and out and looked at her again I am sorry. I don't know why I was like that. I would go if you want me too. I am not being a prick here but you would leave me sooner or later anyway. So why would bother pretend too be my friend and then just be a backstabber bitch like everyone around here! He was angry with everyone.
His heart was torn into two little pieces. He loved someone once. It felt really nice. No one truely cared about him and he knew that now. Girls were just sluts who trick you. Now guys also hate him. He was putting himself as unloverable. This was the reason why he tires and rape girls but he doesn't go through it. He knew what that pain felt like, he was raped himself three times by guys and the staff just watched him. As he watched the rainfall dripping against the small pale window he began to have one of his minor flashback. he was back in the old family home and they were happy. Then suddenly his father comes back drug and started to beat his mother in front of him. Slowly he went towards his father and tugged on trying too stop him hurting her, he was then beated himself. Baylee felt the blood dripping down his lip and his left eye hurt. Then finally his father left again and he went towards his mother and he hugged her. She hugged him back and then he started too hear voices and put it down to a imaginary friend (which was common with his age), then he heard screaming form his mother as his father was raping her. He blocked the noise by the fact covering his ears with his hands. Then the noise vanished and his mother snobs could be heard. He slowly went down and he found his mother covered in blood mostly and he walked towards her and hugged her deeply. This was the last time he saw his parents and then he was abandoned, why did you hurt me and her dad? I thought you love us he muttered out. Half of him wanted too know why his mother abandoned him, maybe she was forced he would never know the true reason and worst still he would never know as they were dead.
He held the photo of his lover, the person he truly loved and knew about him. He missed him so much and his heart was aching. He would never know why Micheal left him. He didn't break it off or even cheated on him. One day he never came back and that what hurts the most. Why was he allowed too leave and I wasn't? He kept questioned himself. It really hurts when people just leave him without a word. Loneilness was his shadow and he grown too like it now. This way people were unable too let him down and break his heart more. He now threw the photo of him and Micheal together on the floor, he got the penknife and began to cut into his left arm. I can't fight anymore! He spoke in his mind.
This brought Darwin out and attack his mind trying too control him. Hurt her Baylee you have too teach her a lesson! You do or I will! He cried a little and looked at Isabella GO! I can't let him hurt you! GO NOW!! He yelled out as he was fought with Darwin for two long hours. Finally the voice left and Baylee curled into a ball and stayed like that so he was unable too get hurt now and his body was shaking as he waited for punishment for his recent threats and outburst he just case. Of course Baylee couldn't care. His emotions were locked away deeply and he was refusing too allow anyone in, after all he was let down three times already.
[/font][/size][/color] *WORDCOUNTINPOST* ::: eight.one.two *POSTTAGGEDFOR* ::: isabella *WRITERSNOTES* ::: don't know where the muse came from! *STATUSOFTHEPOST* ::: complete
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isabella rose xavier
female
phychosis
the same tricks that once fooled me, wont get you anywhere
Posts: 59
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Post by isabella rose xavier on Sept 19, 2010 19:22:17 GMT -5
i CAN feel the PRESSURE !its GETTING closer NOW !
• • • • • • • • • • • • • Isabella watched him as he stood up. Her temper had gotten the better of her. Normally she just gritted her teeth, stood up and walked away while leaving an insult floating in the air - why she had chewed the guy out she didn't know. Maybe it was because of the way he first looked at her. She watched him curiously before speaking while crossing her arms and standing up,
"On the contrary. You don't know me. So I would normally tell someone not to judge the one you do not know. But seeing as you probably are always judged or have judged wrongly in the past and have been left broken I won't say anything. But you don't know me - Yet when I offer my friendship I mean it. I don't know who the hell made you un-trusting to everyone you lay eyes on but I don't offer to be someones friend if I will get hurt or if I think I will some how hurt them."
She fell silent and fiddled with her I.D. bracelet as she watched him. He was holding something - it looked like a photograph but at the angle she was standing at she couldn't be positive. Isabella kept slight distance but then again she was just close enough to give off the message 'I'm not afraid of you'. Letting her arms fall to her sides Painted finger nail tips brushing the material of her dress she stood calmly as she watched him turn around and yell at her to go,
"If you were going to hurt me you would have done it already you've had several opportunities - Same as your 'other half' he has had opportunity after opportunity."
Isabella watched him - He appeared to be having an internal battle with himself. She had those ever so often, They were just a headache and want of screaming your head off waiting to happen. Her eyes cause the crimson liquid flow from his arms. Deciding or not if she should walk away or stay she took a few steps forward and spoke,
"You block your emotions and when you feel to much you cut - You've most likely tried to end it before. Wanting nothing more than peace. I understand that all to well."
She knelt down watching cautiously in case he did lash out she'd be able to get a good swing in but she doubted he would lash out at her. Deciding to try and start anew on the right foot so to speak she introduced herself. He seemed like he really needed a friend.
"I'm Isabella Xavier. Most call me Bella though."
• • • • • • • • • • • • •
wordCOUNT:: 444 currentMOOD:: bored currentSONG:: sleepsong - secret garden characterOUTFIT:: click here taggedFOR:: baylee, open writersCOMMENTS:: n.a
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Post by baylee thomas shepherd on Sept 19, 2010 20:46:46 GMT -5
BAYLEETHOMASSHEPHERD Baylee kept on staying in his comfort little ball. This is what he uses too get over and hopefully push this girl away. She had no idea what his life was like, no one dad. Hearing your father constantly tell you I should have drown you at birth… You were abandoned by your birth mom and we are now stuck with you it does hurt make you feel worthless and lot, lot more. He heard her voice and just signed lot, being really stubborn more than anything else. On the contrary. You don't know me. So I would normally tell someone not to judge the one you do not know. But seeing as you probably are always judged or have judged wrongly in the past and have been left broken I won't say anything. But you don't know me - Yet when I offer my friendship I mean it. I don't know who the hell made you un-trusting to everyone you lay eyes on but I don't offer to be someones friend if I will get hurt or if I think I will some how hurt them , he growled a little not too be too mean it was that he heard it all before. Why would you like too be friends with someone like me? , slowly he got out from the ball and looked at her. She had that weird look about her and he couldn’t put down on it really. You wouldn’t like too know me or even be my friend. Trust me on that. I am not a nice person at all. I am rapists just like my fucking father. I love hurting people and in fact it turns me on more. People leave me alone when I get too much for you. Even my lov he then stopped, he didn’t want anyone too know about his boyfriend.
As he looked at the window again, he had another flashback which was the one he never talked about, it was when he was raped. He was showering with the other minor patients. Waiting while he was alone he finally began too shower. First a man who must be in late 20s-early 30s grabbed him and began to stroke his body. Scared he simply frozen and allowed the abused too carry on for ten minutes. Then two more men came and he given the full rape roughly and harshly for two hours. Finally he was left alone and he saw the staff mainly orderlies looking at him and laughing. Instead of helping him they beated him more until he was bleeding across his right eye and nose was broken. Worst still he found himself being dragged towards the isolation room and give three doses of electric therapy at once as punishment. Snapping out of as his flashback his head was sweaty. He hated those attacks and he finally gritted his teeth and looked at her. Ok I had a lover once ok. That person made me feel whole and loved for the first time in my twenty years of life. I bet you had someone making you felt belonged and wrapped you in cotton wool. But I never did. If you show your emotions you are weak that’s why I keep my hidden closely. Like I said my lover left me before got transferred here, so my heart is torn ok. Give me a shot gun and I would be grateful for my brains too do some flying. He was deeply depressed right now as the rain was prefect for his mood.
I am sharing in a room with someone who doesn’t like me. Why could they just place me on my own, it doesn’t make any sense or fair. I can’t stay there especially with my problems with talking in my sleep. I need too get out it! he was shaking, the voices were gone for now. It must be the medication which he taken earlier finally kicking in which was about time. You block your emotions and when you feel to much you cut - You've most likely tried to end it before. Wanting nothing more than peace. I understand that all to well, he shook his head. No I cut because I have too, it my way of punishing myself for all the mean things I did. I also enjoy watching the blood flow from my skin and it feels lot better when it flows. I don’t cut too deep I know when too stop he explained and looked at her some more. Why is she still here? He then though about given her the chance at least. You only have one chance with me. Hurt me anyway physical or mentally and I would NEVER forgive or talk too you again. Got it? He asked her as he sat up properly now. You can clearly see that he haven’t been eating. Baylee have been starving himself for while now. It was a new illness he had which wasn’t recorded or he haven’t let them know he got it. He is scared of eating food from strange places, it was like they were going too poison you or something. Mostly he would eat fresh fruit and vegetables, he wouldn’t touch meat, nuts or beans etc. The last time he have eaten was like almost a month ago and he extended his arm out too speak again.
Nice too meet you Bella. The name is Baylee Thomas Shepherd. Though people call me Lee for short, just don’t call me Bay please. It would drive me nuts he smiled a little and looked down for moment as he asked a question again.
You hear voices as well? He asked and waited for her answer.
[/font][/size][/color] *WORDCOUNTINPOST* ::: nine. five. six *POSTTAGGEDFOR* ::: isabella *WRITERSNOTES* ::: I still got no idea of the muse burst! *STATUSOFTHEPOST* ::: complete
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isabella rose xavier
female
phychosis
the same tricks that once fooled me, wont get you anywhere
Posts: 59
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Post by isabella rose xavier on Sept 19, 2010 22:08:23 GMT -5
i CAN feel the PRESSURE !its GETTING closer NOW !
• • • • • • • • • • • • • Isabella listened to him speak. It was weird that he was telling her - She expected him to shove her away and tell her to leave him alone and to get away from him, tucking her hair behind her ear she spoke,
"I never had anyone - I was thrown in here when I was thirteen. My mother died when I was little and the only person I had was my father and when he put me here I shoved him away in anger. Five suicide attempts before being put in here - countless after. I still try."
Scratching the back of her head she looked at him with hazel eyes and sighed heavily and looked around the room briefly before she continued,
"Well I don't know about you but I think everyone deserves a friend and a second chance. Except for the people that run this place - they can rot in hell for all I care."
Isabella looked at him - he really looked like a stick. Not completely but he was getting to that point. Giving a small smile she shook his hand and smiled,
"Nice to meet you too. Don't worry, I don't tend to hurt people who are my friends. But the same goes for you."
Nodding about his reference to the hearing a voice she spoke, as she looked at him directly in the eyes,
"Yeah but I don't only hear voices. I see dead people. Spirits. The drugs make everything worse. I cheek my pills most of the time because I am better off without them...Don't freak out if I lash out at thin air though. Its just me and a spirit having our difference."
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wordCOUNT:: 283 currentMOOD:: bored currentSONG:: sleepsong - secret garden characterOUTFIT:: click here taggedFOR:: baylee, open writersCOMMENTS:: i am not happy with this post of mine - it sucks
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Post by baylee thomas shepherd on Sept 21, 2010 15:08:37 GMT -5
BAYLEETHOMASSHEPHERD Baylee was looking and her and signed as she spoke too him. Her voice was gently and soft which was really neat. I never had anyone - I was thrown in here when I was thirteen. My mother died when I was little and the only person I had was my father and when he put me here I shoved him away in anger. Five suicide attempts before being put in here - countless after. I still try. Looking at him and sat up. My family was really mucked up. My father abuse my mother right in front me. He hit me five times for trying too help and stop him hurting her more. I then learnt too hide away and her sobs were so hurtful. Then when I was fifteen they just left me alone. The police came over and threw me in St Drumphires I was given shock therapy a lot, then I was transferred into Denbigh where I was abused again which he didn’t admitted it was rape. Then I send too Evada and I did a bad. Now I am here for how long I have no idea he signed and looked down more. I have been passed back and forth so you see it would be just a matter of time before I am shipped from here and I would lose all my friends from this place. I fucking hate my life! He kicked and punched the wall hard. It was the first time in four maybe six years since he told anyone about his past. He missed Michael and matt very much and hoped they were ok.
He smiled glad she have given him another chance. He knew he was being a right prick towards her. It was true for him though he was treated like a parcel given to hospital after hospital. Well I don't know about you but I think everyone deserves a friend and a second chance. Except for the people that run this place - they can rot in hell for all I care he grinned here. She hated the staff too he thought and went towards her. She would be a great friend for him if he would let his past go. Maybe she would get him back straight. You hate the staff here too? What awful things have they done too you then? Share the story and I would share you mind as well he smiled and kissed her hand being a good friend. Stroking her hair a little, he loved light brown and blonde hair. They attracted him a way, gosh his ex lover had the most amazing blonde hair and striking blue eyes as well, it was like he was being hypnosis. Snapping out of it he looked at her again I am sorry but you hair smells good and feels good. I love you hair. he smiled and moved away from her, he didn’t want too make her feel really uncomfortable.
Baylee wouldn’t dream on hurting her. Not intendtionly anyway. Quiet often the voices would make him do stuff, which was hurtful towards people and he wouldn’t mean it. In fact he would love his friends. Loyalty was important trait for Baylee due too the fact his lover have let him down. Nice to meet you too. Don't worry, I don't tend to hurt people who are my friends. But the same goes for you. He looked down and signed more. I don’t mean too hurt you. I have hurt a nurse once which is the reason I was transferred here. I raped a female nurse and patient. So if I try too hurt you, smack or even punch me in the face. It would bring me back too my normal self. But it’s not me it my schizophrenia which tell me too do it ok. So don’t press me as a bad guy. I am not ok. Please believe me on that he looked down again.
He then heard her about her condition and it was like his in a way Yeah but I don't only hear voices. I see dead people. Spirits. The drugs make everything worse. I cheek my pills most of the time because I am better off without them...Don't freak out if I lash out at thin air though. Its just me and a spirit having our difference he smiled. Sounds like me and Darwin he spoke out and he can see him in fact sitting on the couch, picking stuff out of his teeth. I often see a eighteen year old man named Darwin. We been together since I was fifteen. He is lot stronger now and sometimes I can’t control him. Then I have a five year old girl which treats me like her father. So you see I understand you. We have something common he smiled and felt comfortable telling her everything, just not the rape yet. Hey want too do something fun? Like play a prank on a staff member? He asked, wonder she would like to, since they get some fun , something too do and get some fresh air also. Standing up now thinking on who to prank do you have a staff member in mind we could do it too? Preferably not a doctor. Those guys wouldn’t play and just sedated you in the end he said and felt happy for the first time for three years.
[/font][/size][/color] *WORDCOUNTINPOST* ::: nine.zero.four *POSTTAGGEDFOR* ::: isabella *WRITERSNOTES* ::: sorry for the wait and it was worth it *STATUSOFTHEPOST* ::: complete
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isabella rose xavier
female
phychosis
the same tricks that once fooled me, wont get you anywhere
Posts: 59
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Post by isabella rose xavier on Sept 22, 2010 15:46:15 GMT -5
i CAN feel the PRESSURE !its GETTING closer NOW !
• • • • • • • • • • • • • Isabella looked at him and sighed. There wasn't much the staff had done to her - She just hated them in general for the way they went about abusing their powers her sometimes getting in the cross-hairs. She had yet to really get into anything serious with any of the staff,
"Well I was relatively normal. My Dad is a Marine my mum was a secretary. We moved around a lot cause my dad was always getting relocated and I never bothered making friend. I mean why make them when your just gonna up and leave at some point? Well When I was ten my Dad got deployed. It was alright from then on out except for the absence of my father. When I was eleven, close to twelve my mother was killed in a car accident. A drunk driver ran a red light at a high speed and hit the driver side of the car. My dad came home for awhile after that but soon left. I was thirteen when I finally made some friends. Only problem was I was talking to supposedly thin air. These friends didn't exist to anyone but me."
She played with the hem of her dress while she stopped momentarily to catch her breath before continuing as she looked at the floor,
"That's when it went down hill. They began telling me I was better off with them. No one would miss me that my mother was wanting me to come see her. Stuff like that. The neighbor took care of me, while my Dad was off at war. She couldn't have kids, so apparently my presence filled that gap. Well I began listening to the voices. I tried committing suicide I took a razor to my wrist. I would have died but the neighbor that was caring for me came looking for me and my blood had seeped out from the bathroom door and was staining the carpet in the hall. Next I tried drowning. That failed. Lake I jumped in had a fisherman on the bank and he pulled me out."
Looking at him with hazel eyes as she spoke she scratched her shoulder and continued on. Trying to give the shortest version of the story.
"Next was hanging. Dad came home after that, spending some time with me figuring the absence of both him and my deceased mom was the cause of it all. I tried cutting twice after that. Apparently my dad was tired of it. tired of dealing with me and didn't want me any more. Or he cares. But to me caring is a pretty far fetched idea. He began seeking some help for me and a shrink did about two sessions with me and told my dad i was psychotic. I had a bad case of psychosis which was making me suicidal. I was fourteen when he packed up my bags and brought me here. I've been here sense. I talked to my dad and we wrote letters for awhile but soon the calls became less and less and they finally stopped, and the letters became less detailed and less detailed and finally I started trashing them and sending them back unopened... I feel bad for it sometimes but I feel as if he put me here to get rid of me. I feel like he betrayed me. I've tried committing suicide countless times sense. Always being found and stopped."
Isabella fiddled her fingers as she told him her story. Sitting forward and removing her jacket revealing the rest of her arms. Her scars marring her skin.
"Just think this isn't even half of them. Maybe if they would let me die I wouldn't be so mangled looking. Not that I care...I've not really been a target to anything truly horrible with the staff. But I have had my fair share of isolation times and being drugged. Most recent for throwing a chair at a therapist and then a lamp at a warden he called for backup when he pissed me off and I lashed out. I've had quite a few rough moments with the staff though. I don't go down easily."
Looking at the many scars going in all over her arms in all directions, vertical, horizontal, and diagonal. There were more, hidden by her clothes. She sighed. Five years was a long time to sing the same or song and play the same old game. So to speak but it couldn't be avoided. Not when you were caged like an animal to be watched like some sort of freak show. Looking at him she smiled. A prank? That sounded like loads of fun,
"Well there is a warden. Jason is his name. He's pretty easy going. Believe me on that I spoke with him for a decent amount of time without blowing a gasket at him. Which is saying something. Normally I don't speak more than five words to the staff around here."
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wordCOUNT:: 829 currentMOOD:: bored currentSONG:: thats what you get - paramore characterOUTFIT:: click here taggedFOR:: open writersCOMMENTS:: n.a
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Post by baylee thomas shepherd on Sept 23, 2010 10:24:45 GMT -5
(should we end this or what? Move it to a pranking area or something?)
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isabella rose xavier
female
phychosis
the same tricks that once fooled me, wont get you anywhere
Posts: 59
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Post by isabella rose xavier on Sept 23, 2010 13:32:14 GMT -5
(sure - can you make the thread though?)
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