Post by dane ryan bradshaw on Sept 5, 2010 15:58:07 GMT -5
welcome to blue river institution ,
[/font][/i]
[/center][/blockquote][/blockquote][/blockquote]allow me to introduce myself. i am dane ryan bradshaw and i am seventeen. last time i checked, i was male. seeing that i'm here, there must be something wrong with me, right? well, my disorder(s) is/are/include: anorexia nervosa, seperation anxiety disorder, and dependent personality disorder. i know, i'm seriously fucked up, aren't i? well with proper treatment, i will get better, right? anyway, i am exactly six feet tall and weigh around one hundred twenty-three pounds. some people say i resemble andy sixx, but i just don't see it. anymore, more about me, right?
basic information ,
[/font][/i][/i] if anyone looked at dane, they’d probably see the typical ‘scene kid’ punk annoying kid. he has jet black, messy hair that he keeps mid-long, and he’s always wearing some type of eye makeup, whether it be shadow or liner. he has never been happy with the way he looks, so he’s always wearing large jackets or sweatshirts to hide himself. converse are a must with dane; he has them in every color. his bones jut out and his legs are extremely thin, making even the skinniest of skinny jeans look slightly baggy. His skin is almost yellow due to malnutrition, and his eyes are beginning to lose their color.
name dane ryan bradshaw
nicknamedane, daneafurd.
general appearance
sexuality[/i] bisexual.
birthday november eighteenth.
distinguishing features[/i] dane has several tattoos running down both of his arms that he got only a few years ago. both sides of his bottom lip are pierced and he also has snakebites, but he hardly ever has any of them in since they make purging difficult and painful.
likes[/i] oreos, junk food, the feeling of being hungry, close friends, piercing, the ocean, jackets, thick books, controlling relationships
dislikes[/i] distant people, fights, gaining weight, seeing people cry, love songs, animal cruelty, drinking, making decisions
[/size][/blockquote][/blockquote][/blockquote]
personality ,
[/font][/center][/i] anorexia nervosa, dependent personality disorder, seperation anxiety disorder
patient's mental disorders / disabilities
comprehensive personality / behaviour[/i] dane is a very insecure person, even if he may not look it on the outside. he’s never felt safe when he’s alone, so he’s always depended on other people to do things for him. he’s sure that if he tries to talk to someone that they’ll automatically assume that he’s a freak and that he is a disgusting excuse for a human being. dane’s always been afraid of what people think of him. he doesn’t want to speak to anyone unless he’s known them for his entire life. being dependent on other people has made dane very upset about the thought of being separated from the ones that he has relationships with. they are his everything. he couldn’t function without the ones who make his decisions or help him with everything. separation means being alone. and being alone means panic. and panicking isn’t good, oh no.
since he can’t make decisions for himself, dane has never had a problem getting into controlling relationships with guys and girls. girls are usually the ones who want to be babied, and most of the time dane can’t live up to that. he isn’t strong enough to take care of someone else. so most of his relationships are with men, and he isn’t new to being abused and manipulated. he doesn’t mind one bit. as long as he’s not the one deciding what happens, dane is just fine.
never being happy with his appearance or life, anorexia was practically shoved into his face. oh look, a way to punish himself! it was perfect; a match made in heaven. if whoever he was with at the time thought that he did something wrong or that he wasn’t good enough, dane would starve himself. it felt amazing watching those numbers do down. Feeling the pain of hunger in his stomach made him feel like he was getting what he deserved.
[/size][/blockquote][/blockquote][/blockquote]
background information ,
[/center][/font][/i][/i] andrea nicole bradshaw, sister, 15.
family member names
danielle amber bradshaw, mother, 39.
kaleb jonathon bradshaw, father, 41.
comprehensive history[/i] ( childhood ) quiet. nervous. awkward. shy. emotional. those are the words that described dane as a child and still are good adjectives for him today. being the kid who wasn’t very social, dane never had many friends. and the few that he did have? he hung unto them with his life. there was no way that he was going to let them slip away. he was obsessed with what his friends were doing all the time and always wondered why he couldn’t be hanging out with them. whenever one of his friends were in a bad mood, it would affect him to. he couldn’t understand why he couldn’t be happy unless they were, but dane felt that it wasn’t fair for him to be happy if someone else wasn’t. his grades would drop from worrying about his friends and wondering if they were okay.
his home life was the same. dane would never be satisfied unless everyone in his family was happy and near him. When he was fourteen and his sister was twelve, she was always by his side, and he thought that meant that she wanted to be around him because he was interesting and she cared about him. he was dead wrong, obviously. all she wanted to do was get near his friends so she could flirt with them. she’d go off with his friends and they’d leave him behind, making him wonder what went wrong. dane couldn’t take them leaving him. he cried and cried and couldn’t even get out of bed in the morning. were his friends just using him to get to his sister like his sister used him to get to them? things became so bad that his mother got him a therapist. the woman who counseled him only thought that he was like this because his parents divorced before he was even born, and not having a father figure around caused him to be less manly. real guys didn’t have seperation issues or need people to like him. so it had to be because he lived with two girls, right?
( getting older ) when dane finally began dating a year later, he quickly began to realize that relationships with girls didn’t work very well with him. sure, they always knew how to make him hard, but they had no idea how to calm him down when he thought that they were going to leave him. he would cry and beg them not to, and it would freak them out so much that they would leave him anyway. the only other choice was to date men, and surprisingly it wasn’t too bad. they were controlling, always on top, didn’t have a problem with telling him what to do. he liked it like that. no thinking on his part.
a few abusive partners later, and dane got the crazy idea of punishing himself for his wrongdoings by not eating. and when he did eat, he would throw it back up immediately. his mind wouldn’t stop yelling at him if he ate. it was always something like ‘you don’t deserve food after making zach mad’ or ‘are you really going to eat all that after that big fight, you digusting thing?!’ the voices would never stop, and dane didn’t really have a problem with it. he was so sucked up in trying to make whoever he was with happy so that he could be happy himself, that he didn’t care about how he looked or how healthy it was. he didn’t want anyone to leave him. they always did, though. no one ever stayed for long. they couldn’t deal with how needy and emotional he was.
( now ) turning seventeen was around the corner, and dane was a mess. he had just broken up with evan, the most controlling, wonderful, frightening guy he had ever dated. evan was everything to dane, and they stayed together for almost six months before evan finally decided to leave. it tore dane apart. he couldn’t take it. he thought that evan would never leave, yet the signs were visible throughout the entire relationship. he wanted to die. dane refused to eat, refused to do anything except sleep and cry and listen to music that hurt his ears from being so loud. his mother got fed up with him being around, so she sent him off to blue river institution, the best thing money could buy for her fucked up son. he screamed and cried on the way there. now his family was leaving him too. there was nothing that could make him happy. absolutely nothing. dane’s determined to die here. just to show them all.
[/size][/blockquote][/blockquote][/blockquote]
behind the mask ,
[/size][/font][/url]<div align="justify">
hi my name is sahara and i am thirteen years old. last time i checked, i'm a female. i've been rping for three years and i love it. i found this site on proboards support and i must say, it's awesome! so anyway, i live in eastern time and i will be on at least five times a week for several hours i currently have this shiny new character and none others. you can contact me through pm or by email: CassandraUzumaki@gmail.com. i promise you i have read the rules and i will be a dedicated member to the site!The concrete wall was starting to hurt Hanah's back as she leaned against it. She was staring down at her dirty toes, thinking about what she used to look like with shoes on. Being here for so long was making her crazy, she could tell. There were slaves in cages around her that she knew had been in them for years, and she was determined not to be one of them.
But honestly, that seemed impossible with all the master's walking by her cage, only glancing at her. Maybe she was doing something wrong? Was she supposed to be sitting? Hanah sighed exasperatedly, so confused. She didn't mean to do anything wrong, but where were the rules for the cells? No one had given them to her. She didn't like not knowing what to do. Miss Hazard always gave her a list of how she was supposed to act on a certain day, what she was supposed to say and do. But no one had done that here.
Glancing through the bars to see if anyone was watching her, she slowly leaned off the wall and lowered herself to the floor, trying hard to not get her white cotton dress dirty on the disgusting floor. Hanah gently placed her hands in her lap and just waited. That was the only thing she could do now. Honestly, she didn't know what she was waiting for. A master to come get her, she assumed. Maybe Miss Hazard had sent her here because she wanted to teach her a lesson. But Hanah couldn't recall ever doing anything wrong, so that couldn't be it. Her eyes slowly filled with tears, and she tried her best to hold them back, but apparently her best wasn't good enough. Tears began to run down her face. She didn't make a sound, though. Crying silently was her specialty.
No one seemed to notice, and Hanah was grateful for that. Getting attention when she was crying was the last thing she wanted. Crying was so stupid and childlike, not for a girl of eighteen to be doing all the time, but it wasn't something she could help. She brought her hand up to her face, quickly trying to wipe the tears away before more came. It was impossible to stop the flow while thinking that she would be stuck in this miserable place forever.
[/ul][/size][/blockquote][/blockquote][/blockquote]
