Mine, Not His /**OPEN

[dareynn cain payne]

So STAY AWAY from me

The beast is UGLY

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A small object clattered loudly as it hit the tiled floor, the dark-haired teen simply watching as it bounced away from him. He hated the floor. It was white tile with little blue specks in it. Ugly. Uncomfortable. Hurt when he fell on it. He hated the object that had come to rest not four feet from his bed, but he loved it, too. Complicated. That’s what it was. Difficult, incomprehensible. Those were the words he would put to it, if he had to. Sometimes the therapist asked him to describe things like that. But he could never think of words then, not for what they wanted. “How he felt” and “what would make him better.” There was nothing wrong with him. He was fine!

Not his fault. Kai’s. Stupid, perfect Kai. Stupid, not-like-him-at-all Kai. Stupid dead Kai. He didn’t wish he’d known his older brother. No. Not the “perfect angel” that had graced his parents’ lives for three years then died from a stupid siezure. The stupid kid had given his parents fasle expectations, had made them only want another kid exactly like Kai. Just the thought of the toddler ticked him off. There had been more pictures of Kai in his house than him. No, it wasn’t his house. Not anymore. Hadn’t ever been. It had been a prison, worse than any place on Earth.

Except maybe here. But he didn’t want to go home, especially since they would be there. And they’d look at him and just see a disappointment, a screw-up that would never amount to anything because he was “insane.” Dareynn wasn’t insane. He knew he wasn’t. He was perfectly normal. Couldn’t they see that? They had been so caught up in Kai’s freaking perfection that they hadn’t even noticed the good things about him. They’d just seen, thanks to that stupid housekeeper, his faults. His problems. Told him they wanted to “help” him.

Yeah, right.

They wanted to leave him in the stupid institution—insane asylum, more like—and forget about him. That’s what happened with a lot of people. It wasn’t like he didn’t know. He did. There were plenty of other kids—teenagers, whatever—here that had been just tossed off, same as him. But there was a difference between him and them. He wasn’t insane. Them? They were nuts. Completely bonkers. Deserved to be in here. He just wanted to get out, go somewhere his parents would never find him. Hide.

Hiding was easy. He’d hidden his whole life. Hiding how much it hurt the first time he’d realized his parents didn’t really care about him. Hiding from the housekeeper when she tried to give him his medicine. Hiding the cuts he put on his wrists and arms. Hiding how his attention wouldn’t stay in one place. Hiding how mad he got sometimes, just like that. “Disorders,” the doctor had said.

There was nothing wrong with cutting or not paying attention to something or getting mad! What right did that stupid doctor have to say that he was insane? It was the doctor that had given his parents the idea for Blue River Institution. This stupid place was probably the last building Dareynn would ever see—he could just feel it. He wasn’t getting out alive. He’d go crazy here with all the other nutcases, maybe catch something off them. He wasn’t insane, not yet. But that didn’t mean he was close. He’d been here a while, and he’d kept to himself as much as possible. Once, he’d made the mistake of telling the stupid therapist that he wasn’t insane, he didn’t need to be here.

She’d told him that no, he wasn’t insane, but he “needed help to get better.” He’d gotten mad, then. There was nothing wrong with him. A couple wardens had dragged him off to the isolation rooms to “let him cool down.” Stupid wardens.

But he wasn’t really mad right now. It was more like someone had woven a cloak made of all the things that upset him and dropped it on him, wrapping him in despair.

Throwing his legs off the bed, he slid down until his toes hit the cold tile and paced the few steps to the little marble he’d dropped. It wasn’t really round anymore, after being dropped on the tile so many times. It had chips and dents. It didn’t roll anymore. But that was okay. It was his marble now, and nobody could take it from him. He’d taken it from Kai’s room, and that made it his. Finder’s keepers. His mom had thrown a fit when she’d found out, but he’d argued until she simply gave up. His marble. Not Kai’s. Kai was dead. What did he need a marble for?

Tag’d;; Open
Word Spewage;; 822
Verses;; “Monster” by Skillet
Coverings;; Dark jeans, his oversized black hoodie, no shoes.
Scrawlings;; I got bored in Photoshop today after I finished my project. This is where my boredom took me. I think my friend worries about me sometimes. XD
© Cujo;;

[baylee thomas shepherd]

YOU CAN FEEL THE POUNDING WRAPPED AROUND YOUR CHEST
BAYLEETHOMASSHEPHERD

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NOTHING'S TOO EXCESSIVE WHEN YOU'VE GOT NOTHING LEFT
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~Baylee was allowed outside again, just for an hour though and the staff were being very careful with him. Since he was trying to take the dressings off so he was able to access the stitches which were beginning to itch like mad now and sting like fuck. God the pain was awful and he wished it would leave now. His blue eyes looked around the gardens again, he wondered the glass he hidden few weeks ago was still here. Maybe not since the doctor which caught him red handed cutting might have found it now. Baylee was beginning to trust him slowly and soon enough he would tell him the true story why he was so scared of him, why he have been cutting so badly lately. Due to his sugar levels fucked up due to the insulin shock therapy given too him while he was in the other asylum, Baylee had to eat regularly small snacks. Yawning again as he haven’t slept like for three days, it was long and hard day, the room was pitch black and Baylee had no one expect Darwin for company. The trouble is that he was the only one who can see him and it wasn’t good for his state of mind right now. Normally he was lucid around this time. Before coming to the gardens he was given a mild dose of sedative to relax him and keep him out of trouble. Yes Baylee have been very aggressive for like five days straight now and no one knows why for his sudden violent burst. It just didn’t make any sense right now. Only Baylee knew and the reason which he was keeping closed to his chest and not saying a word at all.

~Walking towards the area where he hidden the glass now. He was unable to cut into his arm, but he wanted to see the object was still there. Baylee felt a little sad and he began to sing. Yes Baylee have a excellent singing voice and in fact he written his own song which he did to show his feelings out. This song he used to play on the piano and since there was no music therapy room here, he began to make the tune into his throat and slowly he began to sing the first verse.

Along the hard road
My journey is still beginning
I am looking the path which is right
So far all I see is a train
There is something blocking my path
I am slowly beginning to lose hope
Until I found you
My spirit friend to guide me
This is what you said

'Never give up
The path is nearly there
Just follow your heart
And it would lead you there'

[/I]

~ Then as the chorus was beginning to come, Baylee raise his voice, closing his eyes, showing the feeling was in his heart and he was telling the sorry behind the song. Since there was no music to help him, his vocals were amazing for this and maybe he would become a professional singer. When he was eleven years old, his choir teacher was amazed by his vocals and encouraged his parents to sign him up for singing college which students are trained and eventually perform on stage in west ends, pop groups etc.

You keep giving me happiness
You keep giving me hope
You keep giving me the strength to carry on
You keep giving me your love
That's what I need to carry on

~ As he finished the chorus he noticed it was getting pretty bad and the daylight was vanishing now. Not wanting too get into trouble with the staff members he quickly legged it back towards the dorms where he stays now. He loved in the living quarters as they were warm and comfortable. It was like he was back at home, which wasn’t like a hospital all. As he walked in a spotted there another patient. Baylee smiled friendly, which was at first for him. Normally he would turn aggressive and be mean and cold towards him, but this time he was being different. Hello he spoke always being polite. Baylee despite his problems does try and be friendly with everyone here as he hated to be mean all the time. Maybe this guy could help me he thought and starched his neck, little unsure of his own plan now. He was studying his clothering and physical body at the time. Of course he was confused on his own sexuality and this is why Baylee avoids males as much as he could. He was already beginning to have some weird feelings towards his doctor, so does this mean he likes boys? Or is it normal for his age to experiment like this? No it can’t be and he tired to get rid of the awful picture out of his mind. And it was getting on his nerves now. Get out of my head, you stupid gay thoughts[/I] this is the main reason why he was so pissed off and he saw that the glass was moved and his doctor found his hiding place. Shit now I have to find another one he thought and began to think where the next safe place he could hide his sharp stuff and cut himself without cameras and staff to find him.

~ While he was thinking he looked at Dareynn some more and smiled again as he was shy and pretty nervous. So how are you? What are you in this place for then? How long have you been living here? He asked him and sat on the ivory bed blanket in the dorm. His bed was the fourth one on the left, it was really comfortable. Leaning onto his right arm, he waited for the male patient to reply back too him, hoping for friendship at least with him, as he needed more friends then enemies right now.[/color][/size][/font]

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WE'RE ALL HERE CAUSE WE LOST CONTROL WE'RE ALL HERE CAUSE
WELOSTCONTROL

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WE'RE ALL HERE CAUSE WE LOST CONTROL WE'RE ALL HERE CAUSE[/center]

•tags• Dareynn
•status• Complete
•comments• Half Recycled, the song I written myself and enjoy!
•word count• nine eight nine
•lyrics• DIE TONIGHT, LIVE FOREVER by InnerPartySystem
•credit• AMANDA THE PIRATE * @ CAUTION !

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[dareynn cain payne]

So STAY AWAY from me

The beast is UGLY

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Dareynn stood completely still, the marble balanced in his palm. He stared at it, the tiny object reflecting the washed-out light. Closing his fingers around the cool surface, he buried his hand in his pocket. After a moment he released his treasure, leaving it in his pocket as he withdrew his hand. He turned and looked around his room. The walls were all rather drab, no colour or posters on them. But he didn’t care enough to bother decorating; this was only temporary. They would figure out he wasn’t insane soon enough and release him.

Not liking the feel of the cold tile beneath his bare feet, Dareynn crawled back onto his bed. No sooner had he settled himself than a voice greeted him. The dark-haired teen’s head turned toward the door, assuming it was a warden or a nurse. But it wasn’t. It was another patient, another teen. Or, at least, Dareynn assumed he was a teenager. He wasn’t that old. He couldn’t be over twenty-one; if he was, he wouldn’t be here.

“…hi…” He watched the other boy as he walked into the room, perching on one of the beds. Then came the barrage of questions. Didn’t this guy know it was rude to just walk into someone’s room and ask them a bunch of questions? “What do you care?” he responded quietly, simply using that as an answer for all of the questions. It was easier than responding to each one. Besides, this guy had no business coming into his room and just…talking to him. Sure, it wasn’t against the rules or anything, but that didn’t mean he wanted anyone who felt like coming into his room in there! It was his room!

Tag’d;; Baylee
Word Spewage;;
Verses;; “Monster” by Skillet
Coverings;;
Scrawlings;; Sorry it took so long for me to post. XP I haven’t had much free time.
© Cujo;;

[baylee thomas shepherd]

BAYLEETHOMASSHEPHERD

Baylee was looking down at his hands. He didn't want too look after the other male in face, not after what happened with the other guy. Micheal was the first ever guy he loved in the way you like girl. He was his first guy he kissed and he loved him. But he vanished and Baylee's heart was toned into two. He felt like no one would love him, since both sexes hate him. His father's words were always in his head you are worthless piece of crap! You are unloverable, no one would want or ever love you! So he was playing with his hand some more holding back the tears.

Now the guy who he have share the room with was begining really mean towards him. Signing again, he didn't want too fight anymore. Look I don't want too fight with you ok. But I was put here by the staff. I don't want intrude on your space ok. I am quiet and never snores he hoped this would make him a little better of having him here. Ok he didn't like company either but he didn't have much choice either as he. Lying on the bed which was now his he faced his back towards Dareynn. This way he was able too cry, trying to heal his broken-heart and get out of this place and maybe even settle down with the person, whoever that may be. He just doesn't know yet.

Was a truly gay and just like guys. Baylee wouldn't admitted it. The only person he truly admitted his feeling too was Micheal and he honestly truly cared about him and loved him deeply. Holding the photo up he looked at it and stroked his face on the photo. Why did you leave me Micheal you said you would say with me forever, you promise me he whispered and cried more. The snobs could be heard and he spoke towards the boy again if you want me too go then take too the staff. I am not all that thrilled sharing a room with you either mind you he spoke a little harshly, only because he was scared and upset. Holding the photo closely he stared at the boring wall in front him, wondering what this guy would accept him as friend, that's all he needs right now.

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*WORDCOUNT* ::: four.zero.four
*TAGGED* ::: dareynn
*NOTES* ::: he is heartbroken right now
*STATUS* ::: Complete

[dareynn cain payne]

So STAY AWAY from me

The beast is UGLY

[/font]

Dareynn bit back a sigh. The staff put the kid in his room? Probably a suggestion from the stupid therapist. He could practically hear her saying, “It’ll help him get used to people. Dareynn needs to socialize.” Pff. Socialize. He didn’t need anybody, and that was that. Nobody in this place cared what he felt. Not really. Why waste the time trying? Useless, that’s what it was. Pure and simple stupidity, thinking someone might want to be his friend. Instead of snapping at the kid, he forced himself to say, “I don’t want to fight, either. I don’t care if you snore. I don’t sleep a lot.” Which was true. Sleeping came hard for him, because his mind was always finding different directions to skip off in. It was annoying.

When the guy turned his back, Dareynn turned his attention to the wall opposite the foot of his bed. White. Boring. Bland. Like the whole place. The kid—Baylee, he had a name—was…sobbing? Dareynn couldn’t tell. Sniffling, whining. Crying was weak, in Dareynn’s eyes. If people saw you cry, they’d just take advantage of you. Forcing himself to ignore the boy’s harsh tone when he spoke again, Dareynn replied, “I’m not going to kick you out. They probably wouldn’t let me. But don’t expect me to like it, either.”

Maybe he should warn Baylee about what the doctors claimed was wrong with him. The bipolar thing. Switching moods fast. Or his ADD. He could explain that, too. And tell him not to worry if he saw blood. Dareynn liked the colour of blood; it was always the same. Predictable. He knew what to expect from it, from the cuts he made that bled. They would hurt a bit, and bleed. Bleed red. It was pretty.

Tag’d;; Baylee
Word Spewage;;
Verses;; “Monster” by Skillet
Coverings;; Dark jeans, black hoodie, no shoes.
Scrawlings;; I’m sorry. X.x I’ve had little muse and my college class is kicking my butt. –falls over dead–
© Cujo;;

[baylee thomas shepherd]

(I am sorry but I have dropped out from this thread. As I have been sick and lost muse for this thread sorry)