Remind Me Why

[jason laurence sharpe]

Entry One

It's a typical day thing for me.

New places, new people, but no one new to care, right? Hell I work at this place now and it scares me. Talk about atmosphere you can feel...you don't need sounds to feel the static in the air.

But that's a lousy first entry in a journal.

-----------------------------------

Trying again.

I've been here...three days? Yeah, three.

I think I'll like the company, given time, but the air is stale. Sort of like a graveyard. There are a lot of places I feel like I shouldn't walk over or through. Again with the graveyard similarities...

I haven't gotten friendly with any patients yet, but considering that they avoid me out of hate begotten fear, I don't blame them. This place is a hell to them, and I work here. Of course, it's laughable that, telling myself I just work here. Sad. But the point is to make money, pure and simple. And not to get fired. I have to establish myself, first. Then, I'll allow myself to muck up the works a bit, see what I'm allowed and not allowed to do.

Who knows, maybe they use those padded cells for employees. I'd like to know how far in advance those things are booked...a lot of images run through my mind thinking about it, most of them pleasing, some of them dark, all of them based in sexual innuendo. Screw me for the idea then.

Off that topic...I wish it would rain. I love walks outside in the wet, and the gardens here aren't to inviting without the water. Maybe I should have signed on as a gardener...

-----------------------------------

No quotes worth noting yet. No time to formulate lists either.

[jason laurence sharpe]

Entry Two

I haven't seen much of this "hell" some of the patients talk about.

Sure, it's dark, it's dirty, it's rough, but none of them are dead yet. Their parents care enough to make a start with help, but aren't committed. They come with no hope, like they know everything is over. But so far, it's only over for those who want it to be.

Then again, I've always found it easier to end something in the middle than stay to the end. One reason I could never finish long books. Too slow, too drawn out, too tired.

-----------------------------------

The apartments are...nicer than I'd thought they'd be? Is that all I can say? Probably not, but sometimes I don't care too much about the accommodations. Sparse military living and all that shit.

The alarm clock is fancy though. Ipod dock, full speakers, scared myself with the bass the other day when it mysteriously turned itself on... I unplugged it after that until I had time to think about it instead of other things. I hopefully fixed it tonight, meaning it will not me waking me up at 4 am with some dreadful thumping next to my head.

The sofa is by far my favorite piece of furniture. False suede, but soft all the same. Smooth, firm, but conforming. The left side is a little better than the right, in my opinion...

There's been a few interesting contacts so far. But nothing solid. I want them to be, a couple in particular, but I know better than to get my hopes up; she doesn't seem willing to stay with one. Of course, I wouldn't either. So hopefully the feeling will be mutual and we'll get over the barrier better the second time around.

I feel like getting some fish. Or something.

-----------------------------------

Quote: "It's attack of the cannibalistic dust bunnies around here." - Bella