Post by dareynn cain payne on Sept 9, 2010 23:26:06 GMT -5
welcome to blue river institution ,
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[/center][/blockquote][/blockquote][/blockquote]</div><div align="justify">allow me to introduce myself. i am Dareynn Cain Payne and i am seventeen. last time i checked, i was male. seeing that i'm here, there must be something wrong with me, right? well, my disorder(s) is/are/include: being bipolar and cutting, along with a slight case of ADD. i know, i'm seriously fucked up, aren't i? well with proper treatment, i will get better, right? anyway, i am six feet, two inches tall and weigh around 145. some people say i resemble Randy Romance, but i just don't see it. anymore, more about me, right?
basic information ,
[/font][/i][/i] I’m six feet, two inches. Mentioned that earlier. I’ve got naturally black hair, cut “emo style.” It hangs over my right eye; I like it there. It’s kind of odd how my hair’s so dark, because my skin isn’t. Kids used to tell me I looked like a ghost or a vampire or something weird like that. I have snake bites and gauges, and I hate wearing short-sleeved shirts. Jeans are my everyday thing. Sandals…don’t even get me started. They’re ugly. I hate the colour green; navy blue, red, black—love ‘em all. Any other colours? Not gonna happen. I always wear an oversized black hoodie.<div align="justify">
name Dareynn Cain Payne
nicknameDare/Darey
general appearance
sexuality[/i] Gay
birthday May 31st
distinguishing features[/i] My arms are covered in scars. Guess that’s one reason I’m here, huh? I’ve got snakebites and gauges, too, but I already told ya that.
likes[/i]
- My cat, Nightmare
- The dark
- Being outside when it’s not too hot out
- My hoodie
- Not being the center of attention
- My pocket knife
- Waffles (chocolate chip only)
- Music
dislikes[/i]
- Large animals (dogs, mostly)
- People touching me
- Talking to strangers
- My parents
- Dull knives
personality ,
[/font][/center][/i] Well, to start, I have ADD. And they tell me I’m bipolar. And I cut. GOT A PROBLEM WITH IT?<div align="justify">
patient's mental disorders / disabilities
comprehensive personality / behaviour[/i] I want to be left alone by most people, but I want to have friends, too. Granted, I don’t want to be friends with everyone. That’s stupid. Then you’d…like, be stuck being nice to everybody all the time. I’d get sick of it. And I can’t be nice to people long. I don’t know why. I just can’t. I try, really I do. But I snap when they do something stupid, especially something that they could have avoided being stupid about in the first place.
But I can be stupid sometimes, too. ((He doesn’t get innuendos and such. He’s…well, to put it nicely, “sexually repressed.”)) I hate it when I don’t understand something; it drives me nuts. But I won’t ask for help—I don’t need help! I can do things on my own, without input from other people. I’ll figure it out eventually, and if I’m dying to know something, there’s always Google, isn’t there?
I can’t seem to concentrate on one thing for long, unless I’m in an empty room. If I see something move out of the corner of my eye, it’s like I have to look at it. Just to check what it is. When I was younger, I was paranoid that someone kept trying to kill me. Now it just makes me mad when that happens. I hate my lack of attention span; it makes it hard to do things. Though, over the years I’ve discovered that if I listen to music, all those distractions just go away. Like I can drown in the notes and let them take me somewhere else, somewhere I don’t have to deal with all the pain and confusion and distractions.
Speaking of pain. I’ve got a rather high tolerance for it, and I love the colour of blood. Cutting helps me get away from the world, too; it’s like a last-resort sort of thing, though. I used to do it a lot, but then I almost bled out once. I don’t want to die. I just don’t want to feel pain. Emotional pain. Physical pain doesn’t bother me. Is that too much to ask?
I don’t think I’m insane for wanting that. But my parents do. I don’t think they like me much at all. They don’t love me, that’s for sure. Which is okay, because I hate them. They locked me up in this place and they won’t let me leave. I saw my mom once, right after they stuck me here. She said it was for my own good. I freaked out and yelled at her and they took me away, back into wherever it was. She was crying. It made me happy, seeing her cry; she broke my heart so many times when I was little, it felt good to know I could do the same to her. I hadn’t said much to her before they’d grabbed me. Just that I hated her and never loved her.
It isn’t possible for me to love someone. I don’t want to; love is overrated. It’s for fools and people who like fat, naked babies with arrows. Not me. Nobody’s ever going to love me, either. I’ve come to terms with it.
I’m not insane.
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background information ,
[/center][/font][/i][/i] Diana Molly Payne, mother, 32.<div align="justify">
family member names
Roy Al Payne, father, 34.
Kai Payne, deceased.
comprehensive history[/i] Dareynn’s parents met in college and were married shortly after they both graduated. Five years later, Diana conceived a baby boy. They named him Kai; he was their entire world. Kai was clearly a smart child, learning to walk and talk sooner than most infants. When he was three years old, his parents noticed that he seemed to be forgetting what he knew, babbling instead of talking at times and not using the toilet.
They sat down to watch a movie one night and about halfway through, Kai had a violent seizure. An ambulance was called and he was taken to the hospital, but the little boy died less than two hours after being admitted. His parents were heartbroken; they didn’t consider having another child for two years, still too upset at the loss of their baby boy. When Diana finally conceived again almost three years after Kai’s death, she wasn’t sure she wanted another baby. She had loved Kai with her whole heart and had no more to give. Roy was happy, but he could tell his wife was not. She had the baby, another boy. They named him Dareynn.
By this time both adults had established good careers and were on the higher side of the middle class. Dareynn was raised mostly by housekeepers and nursemaids, both of his parents too busy to take the time to care for an infant. Neither of his parents ever told him they loved him; his mother had no love to give him and his father was rarely at home. When he was, he was comforting his wife, who was still grieving over Kai.
Because his parents never paid much attention to him, they thought the concerns of those who watched him were nothing but active imaginations. His ADD and bipolar disorder weren’t diagnosed until he was almost fifteen, and only then because he kept lashing out at his schoolmates.
Around thirteen he started to cut. It was more of an escape from the seclusion than anything, something to do in his spare time. When he was sixteen, he went to have his mother sign a permission slip for school. She had been looking through Kai’s baby album, mourning her lost son. Dareynn, getting angry, had yelled at her for loving Kai more than him, telling her Kai didn’t matter anymore because he was dead. He left without getting the form signed, storming up to his room. After sitting around a while, the idea crossed his mind that his mother might love him more if he was dead, too. He slit his wrists and let them bleed. One of the housekeepers found him and called an ambulance, and he was given a blood transfusion and was hospitalized for almost a month.
While in the hospital, he turned seventeen. After he was released, his parents sent him to Blue River Institution so he could “get better.”
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behind the mask ,
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hi my name is Dareynn [call me Cujo if you wish] and i am seventeen years old. last time i checked, i'm a girl. i've been rping for about eight years now and i love it. i found this site on ProBoards Support and i must say, it's awesome! so anyway, i live in central time and i will be on once a day, so long as my schedule permits. i currently have this shiny new character and that’s it. you can contact me through pm or by Skype. (Dareynn is my username.) i promise you i have read the rules and i will be a dedicated member to the site!Thump, thump, thump. The beating of Dareynn’s heart seemed just as loud as the blows he was landing on the kicking bag. He was sweaty and shirtless, his dark hair clinging to his face. It was the middle of the week, summer, and rather early in the morning. So he figured no one else would show up. He hadn’t practiced Judo in so long; it felt good to practice, to fall back into the routine he’d had when he was younger. For years he had practiced every morning, learning each move and going over it again and again.
He paused, panting, and propped himself on the wall with one hand. He had wrapped a bandage around his hand, and it was now spotted with red. He’d punched a tree the day before and split the skin on his knuckles, and he had figured hitting something again today would break open the small wounds. They were a little sore, but nothing that was unbearable. As he caught his breath, he shoved his damp hair away from his face, grimacing slightly. He’d be showering after this, no doubt. Being sweaty and gross was rather unappealing.
Pushing off the wall, he spun and kicked the bag, making it tilt and wobble under his blow. He knew beating the heck out of the bag wasn’t going to make his issues with Carter any easier, but it did help him relieve stress.
He spun, kicked the bag, then punched it twice, successfully knocking it over. It wasn’t weighted very well, but Dareynn didn’t mind. He could still hit it. He set the bag up again, brushing aside his hair once more. Yes, a shower was definitely needed.
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